The only reason your lady has not left you is she doesn’t want to. BLAM! I said it. Many will believe the contrary. The fact is, unless there are physical threats, monetary promises or a business contract involved…the only reason your woman is still with you, is because she wants to be. There might only be a grain of love or will that exists but she is only there because she WANTS to be. But understand this one thing—When a woman finally leaves, her uprooting is rarely an instant reaction to your bull shet. 99.99999% of the time it’s premeditated, some may even say predestined. She’ll throw warning signs that might go unnoticed or pushed under the table. If it is in your interest to save the one you love, you may want to know the signs of her agony….BEFORE she leaves.
Before she leaves, her routine will have changed. Her cold morning Carmex or Chapstick is no longer a necessity for her. She will deal with the burning lips later if it means she’ll get more attention wearing her MAC lip gloss. She may have a negative view of men now because of all the lying and hurt she’s put up with from one man (YOU). Her old swag may have turned into a shy slump because she has forgotten her worth or simply believes it was diminished or damaged along with all the other pride and patience she put into making her love with you work. On the flip side, she may leave with a new found confidence. Her poise is now more punctual and persuading than you have ever seen…or failed to see.
Before she leaves, she will already be numb to your excuses. Your excuses have become her expectations. She will no longer be bothered when you tell her you forgot you made plans with the boys and you need to reschedule movie night. She will shrug it off when your phone rings at 3 a.m in the morning and you don’t answer. Although she’s expressed a million times how she dislikes your relationship with your “home girl”, you prolong an unnecessary friendship. She no longer cries with jealousy but laughs instead. Your excuses have become her entertainment.
Before she leaves, she’ll find wrong in EVERYTHING you do. Your morning breath that once reminded her of the love you made the night before, now disgusts her. Your late night showers use to turn her on but now annoy her ears and interrupt her sleep. Your shouting at the football game on television once made her smile because although you were loud, you were home. Now it is just a reminder that you are loud and you are home.
Before she leaves, she will have found someone new. Maybe not a physical person, maybe just a new person in herself. Your applause is no longer needed to let her know she’s funny. She won’t need your head nod as approval that her body is looking “right”. Your empty promises have proven worthless now because she now believes..she now KNOWS that one day she will once again be the happiest woman in the world and SOMEONE will love her the way you have neglected to.
Before she leaves, she will have ONE last cry. It will take all of her strength to hold herself together but she knows she needs to let the tears flow. They may not be tears of pain. She may be cruising down four blocks headed to Food Lion and blazing Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” and before she knows it, the tears start flowing. Not tears of sorrow but tears of happiness because she knows freedom is right around the corner. She will let the tears hit her lap as she hides them from your child sitting in the back seat. Her last cry may be a loud, agonizing one as she waits on your phone call at 4:38 in the morning. She sits up wondering if you have linked up with a new chick at the club. That jealous then turns into worry and prayers that you’ve made it somewhere safely. Her last cry may be an uplifting one accompanied by an epiphany. She’ll stand in front of the mirror pouring tears when she finally realizes that her goofiness, clumsiness, inablilty to focus on one topic at a time, ugly handwriting, big eyes, big lip, small boobs are capable of catching eyes other than yours.
Before she leaves, she will already have mapped out her next move. Or maybe she knows that the beauty of it all is not knowing her next move but knowing that she is capable of moving. She will speak about her future plans and you will notice that very few of them include you or “us”.
Before she leaves, she will have made a fool of herself ONE LAST TIME. She would have already asked you a million times to delete the frequent back and forth between you and your ex on your Twitter. She may have spent all week shopping for you on Valentine’s Day. She would have spent a great deal of her savings just to see you in a new pair of shoes, with new speakers for your car..a private dinner for two. She wasted money and love just to have her heart crushed when she sees that same ex has already beat her to the punch. She will finally stop listening to what you said were just “rumors” and start using her head instead of a misleading heart. She will get so angry one night that the verbals stop spewing and the fists start swinging. She will find herself with no more fight. She has made a fool of herself for the last time.
The most important thing before she leaves is this—
it is not too late. It is never too late to restore what once was. Though society wants to prove differently, listen to this. The ONLY weak man is the one that can not find enough courage or push to fight for the one thing that gives him strength. The only weak man is the one that won’t hold his woman through her tears or her struggle to get away. The weak man is the one that looks for comfort elsewhere and fails to realize that the answer…the anecdote sits in set of eyes he won’t take the time to read. It is never too late to save the one you love, as long as you save her…before she leaves.
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Pecans and Grapevines on my Grandma's Piano 